Dating after becoming a widow


01-Jan-2018 06:37

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It is one thing to be supportive and allow space for the feelings and ebbs and flows of emotion which diminish over time, but I don’t think a person should be the widow/widower’s grief counselor.” Most people who’ve suffered a loss have already built a network of friends and/or family for support.

Many will choose to attend therapy or support groups for help dealing with their pain. When you are dating someone it should be about you and that person having a shared goal of creating a great relationship.

I don’t expect a woman I am dating, or even more seriously involved with, to “help me get through my pain and loss”, as it relates to my late wife’s passing.

I should have done that prior to entering the relationship. By the time a widow/widower enters the dating world, they should already be through the initial stages of grief and into the recovery phase of rebuilding their lives.

Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run it’s course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.

For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.

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What are important things to keep in mind when dating a widow/widower?

Not all comparisons are bad; they are simply an acknowledgement that something is different than something else.